i'm back but not really

It's been 4 years since I last updated and I was actually contemplating if I should delete all my posts or not.

But damn, these are actually memories. Cringe yet bittersweet memories.

I remember the very first time I created this blog (2009), which I've already removed majority of the posts. Fast forward to 2020, I can say that it's been a decade since I've had this blog up. To be honest, I don't really know what to do with this blog.

This blog has been a place for me to share and vent out during most of my teenage years. It has been through many ups and downs with me and for real, It's quite difficult for me let this blog go.

I looked through this blog and think if I were to revive this blog, what content should I be posting. I originally wanted this blog to be an escape, to share my experiences but sadly I stopped posting at 2016.

A lot of things have changed over time in a way that I don't really know where to begin. All I can say is that I'm not the same person who I used to be 4 years ago. And how remarkable that time itself can change a lot of things, a lot of perspectives. My life was in a much more different phase back then. I've been through hell and made it back. It has been an insane journey to become the person I am today. And I'm still trying everyday, to become a better person.

So I guess this is it, the kind of 'closure' I think that's appropriate for this blog (2009 - 2016). I'm not 100% shutting down this blog, just in the process of revamping it. Some big changes are on its way. This blog is about to have a new beginning.

I hope you all have nice day ahead
Happy New Year

Cheers!

xx

Mini Haul & Update

Hello everyone!
I'm back again with another update

I've been gone for more than half a year and so much has happened.

I recently just turned 21! Hello to the legal and adult life. I didn't really celebrate cause I was at work. I know it's a sad 21st birthday but it's alright. I mean, I could always celebrate later on right?
But I treated myself to some good stuff though.

What else?
I'm almost done with my CCS course in college! Why I said almost is because I just started my semester break and the exam results won't be out until the end of August. So I'm not really done with CCS yet. To be honest, I'm really scared of what my results would be like cause I don't want to fail this course. I just hope that I manage to pass this course and move onto Diploma once and for all. So fingers crossed. I don't want to disappoint my dad as I've already let him down countless of times.

Moving on.
I did some shopping as a treat to myself for my birthday. I bought some stuff from Watsons and Guardian. Lastly, I bought myself a pair of sandals from Zalora.

So from top to bottom and left to right, I got the Maybelline White Superfresh Long Lasting UV Cake Powder. I got it because I'm attending a music festival this coming weekend and I want a light-weight makeup base to keep my makeup simple. This product has SPF 34 in it as well. 

Next, I got the Maybelline Hypercurl Volum' Express Waterproof mascara. Okay, to be honest, I got it because it was on sale for only RM18+ at Guardian and it's waterproof so bonus! And I heard quite a lot of reviews online about this mascara so I thought I'd give it a try too.

Next thing I bought is the Garnier Light Complete Toner. This is my second bottle cause I ran out of my toner. I really like the consistency of the toner and it leaves my face really smooth after applying it, that's why I re-purchased it :) 

Then I bought this sandal from Zalora as a birthday present for myself. This is from a brand called Velvet. This sandal is still available on Zalora so go get while it runs out of stock.

Lastly, I got the Sunsilk Co-creations hair cream. I buy this hair cream all the time and it smells great too

So this concludes my mini haul and now I'm going back to the broke life. hahaha..

Buy sandals here: https://www.zalora.com.my/velvet-charlene-strap-detail-sandals-black-614588.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I mentioned earlier from my haul that I'll be attending a music festival this coming weekend.

And I'm pretty sure most of you have already heard about this music festival. 

(Image Source)

That's right guys, I'm going to Good Vibes Festival! I'm so stoked as this is my very first time attending a music festival. Amazing artist will be playing on both days of the event and I can't wait to see The 1975, Angus & Julia Stone, Two Door Cinema Club and Disclosure~ 

I'll also be checking out other artists as well of course. I can't wait~ 

So that also concludes my update after such a long time of being away and all. 

I'll try my best to at least update once a month or so but I can't promise you guys anything.

Once again, thank you for stopping by my blog and I hope you all have a wonderful day or night :D 

xx

Reflecting on 2015

2015, has been a year of growth and realization for me.

2015 has been a year of new beginning to me. I finally went to college.

2015 has been a year for me to experience new things like meeting new friends, going to concerts together, travel to new places, hanging out and doing all the fun stuff all college student does.

2015 has been a year filled with lessons. I've learnt that you cannot change people and their attitude. You cannot force someone to love you. You cannot expect people to be the same as you. You cannot make assumptions on everything. You cannot make someone like you no matter how nice you are.

2015 is the year where I re-discovered myself. I stopped letting people push me around and intimidate me. I stood up for myself.

2015 is the year I turned down plans because I felt like it. I used to say yes to every plans my friends make just make them happy. But not anymore.

2015 has it's ups and downs.

Although 2015 has been a memorable year for me, it's also the year I realized a lot things.

2015 is the year I turned 20, where I realized that I'm no longer a teenager anymore.
I realized that I've got responsibilities now. My education, planning for my career in the future. I realized that it's not as simple as I imagined.
Sometimes, it scares me, I cannot deny that, being an adult.

2015 is the year I realized that I cannot run away from my responsibilities anymore. I always thought that I had it easy you know? I never know the feeling of life struggles. I am soon to experience that. I have accepted the fact. The face that I can't always ask for an easy way out.

2015 is the year where I realized that being single has it's perks. But it can be lonely.

2015 is the year I realized that no matter how hard you try or how nice you are, it's just never going to be enough for some people, and that's okay. it's all good. Because in the end, you know you've done good things and that's all that matters.

To wrap things up, I really enjoyed 2015 because it's the year I felt free. Even though I didn't feel like myself but this year, I'll try to be myself more.
2015 has been great as I look back at the times where I had fun, I cried, learned from mistakes and making mistakes.

I felt like I've grown as a person. I let go of hatred and anger.

2016 is going to be a new beginning for me.

2016 is the year where I want to change. Change my perspective in everything, my attitude. Change is good. Change for the better.

2016, I look forward to create a whole new story for you. I'll fill it with positive vibes, travel to places I've never been before, meet new people and experience new things.


And finally, it's time for me to end this chapter and begin a new one.

xx

I turned 20

Heyho~ Finally I'm able to update. I haven't been able to do so for the past week because I'm busy with my finals.

Now that my exams are finally over and my semester break just started, I have all the free time.

So almost around two weeks ago, I celebrated my 20th birthday (boo...I'm no longer a teen..) My friends, namely Peggy and Brian treated my to dinner and movie which was more than enough. For the first time in my life, I have friends treat me to something and I'm grateful for every moment. They were being too nice. So enough said... we took enough pictures that day :)

Before we had dinner, we went to watch Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation. The movie was amazing. It had some hilarious scenes. That's all I could say cause the first mission movie I watched was Ghost Protocol. 

And then after the movie, we went and took loads of selfies while waiting for Peggy's ride to arrive. It was a bummer that she couldn't join us for dinner. She's such an amazing person. Both friendly and kind. Her personality just balances out my awkwardness~ 

She's just so happy all time :')

So after Peggy went home, we went to Nando's for dinner~ 

And again, we took pictures.

While waiting for our meals to arrive, we just talked. Almost about everything. The thing about Brian is that he's the most chill person to be around with and one of the nicest person I've met.

Lol. Derp face alert c:

Well that concludes the entire event of that day. I was beyond happy that I get to spend time with with my friends because I've spent my birthday alone for the past 2 years but definitely not this year :')

I really do appreciate everything they did for me. Like you know that feeling of gratitude? It's like as if showing appreciation and gratitude wasn't enough. I will always cherish those moments and I will also make sure to throw a party for them on their birthdays~

And also, the day after my birthday, Viven, Puncake, Wings and I decided to go for durian hunting. It was fun and they treated me durian. Too bad we didn't take any photos because we were too busy eating the durians :>

After all that said, It's my queue to leave now as it's like 4am in the morning which I just realized..lol~~

There will be more posts coming up (I really hope to be productive with this) as I'm currently enjoying my semester break. I'll keep you all updated :)

Stay strong and smile always~

P.S: Photo credits goes to Peggy and Brian :)

xx

Today I woke up, feeling so bitter. I don't feel like myself anymore.
Something inside me just sort of snapped. I was done. I am done feeling like this.

Ever since I had a crush on someone, everything I do just sort of revolve around him, like I had to depend my happiness on him. I'm always wanting his attention. But I am done.

I don't have to depend on anyone on my happiness anymore. I guess that's the reason why I ended up feeling like this in the first place. Feeling so pathetic and so alone. And today, I just sort of snapped myself out of it.

I want to focus on myself now. I want to do things without seeking approval from others, that's the way I can truly live and be myself.

I'm setting myself free...free from all this misery. I'm not going to take a huge leap that fast, it takes time, just like everything else.

I'm not perfect. Never said that I was. The reason why I'm myself today is because I've been through some tough shit. It's not just me who has been through so much, I'm sure a lot of people have, sometimes even worse. That's why I'm grateful for what I have now.

I also want to thank a very good friend of mine, Viven, for not giving up on on me. She offered to talk but I told her this is something I had to handle on my on and that, I'll talk to her about it next time. I know that she always got my back no matter what

I feel so blessed to have such friends around me, words just cannot express the gratitude I have towards them.

Now that I got everything off my chest. I can breathe better. Not necessarily feel better but everything just feel great at the same time. 

shit loads of stuffs.

Update 1

I always have a lot of things going on in my mind, but I somehow, wasn't able to put those thoughts into words. I thought typing it down on my blog will work but still, I find it difficult to do so. So I will try to sort out this messy mind.

So a lot has been going on with my life at the moment, ever since I started college including meeting tons of new friends which is good for me, I guess. I'm also very near to the end of my first semester real fast. I'll be sitting for my finals on August 3rd, which will be two weeks from now. My first thought was like, wow... time really flies fast. First I was in my first day of class and now I'm here, doing my finals real soon. And it's only my first semester, I still have 3 semesters to go until I complete my certificate course.

To be honest, ever since I started college, I've been busy. That's what college does to everyone doesn't it? I currently have 2 Individual assignments to complete and 2 group assignments which I have yet to start on and what's more unappealing about it is that 3 of them are due on the same day, that is one week from now. I can feel the rush now. I have this habit of procrastinating and doing things last minute which is really bad and yet, I still have time to blog... lol

But I think I can manage. Well I hope I can do it..in order to pass this semester, I must!

Update 2

Lately, I've been thinking of getting a tattoo. I've always wanted one ever since I was 17 but I was illegal to get one by that time. And when I turned 18, I could get them done but I couldn't decide and afraid I would regret after getting it done. 

But now, I'm like fuck it, if  the tattoo means something to me, I'll get it done. Even if it doesn't mean anything to me at all, I'll still get it done if I like the tattoo design. Besides, tattoo is art after all. I just have to think wisely on the design and where I get it tattooed.

I'm also planning to get my nose pierced. I just don't care what people will think of me anymore.

Beside all of that said, I will end this post here and update some other time because I don't want this post to be extremely long. 

And I should probably get back to working on my assignments. hahaha...bye 

xx

So it's currently 4:22AM right now and I just felt like doing this blog-post.

Lately, I've been thinking about some stuff that has been on my mind for the past few weeks.
I've been asking myself in my head, "Am I being true to myself?" "Am I just pretending to be someone else?" And I just sort of got tired of it all you know..

I've been an angry and bitter person quite often lately. And the truth is, I wasn't like this in the past. I used to be so cheerful and carefree, always wanting to make people laugh. What happened? Why am I hating everything and everyone?

I started to distance myself these days, from people I know. Maybe I just want to cut off all ties with people and just make new friends. But I still want to keep them close at the same time.Even though I've been treated so badly sometime when I'm around that friend. I mean I appreciate her helping me. I really do, but sometimes I feel like I let her walk all over me, like she has the upper hand.. like she rules me.. Sometime she gets this mood swings for no apparent reason, getting mad with small issues and I had to deal with it. And I wasn't just me. Other people felt the same way too.

And sometimes she can assume things and be rude about it like my feelings don't matter,

I guess when you've been with a person for too long, their real self starts to show. It can either be a good thing or a bad thing. It's only bad when you're a horrible person.

Talking about all of this, it just sort of reflect on me in some way. I don't know myself that well and I want to re-discover myself. I don't want to stay bitter and angry all the time.

I need to stand up for myself,.Even if it means cutting off all ties and having to distance myself.

Last night wasn't the greatest nights for me. I felt like shit.

My depression, which I haven't had one for the past few months, decided to come back for a visit.

I don't remember when was the last time that I cried so hard. I was choking on my own sobs, it got harder to breathe as I cried. 

I thought that it was going to be easy for me to reach out to people and ask for help, but I just couldn't do it. I felt like a burden to everyone. I was hoping that everything would go away quickly. It wasn't easy you know, feeling all emotions all at once. It just gets so overwhelming.

It's easy for me to hide the pain behind a smile and tell people everything is fine but it's not easy when I'm all alone, at night, it's just emptiness. 

Do you what it feels like, to have family and friends surround you yet, you still feel lonely, empty and isolated at the same time? 

I never knew how lonely I was until last night. 

That's the kind of feeling I have to deal with every single day.

But then again I realized that, in life, all you need is yourself cause not everyone is going to be there for you. No matter how many time you've been there for them, you just can't expect everyone to do the same.

So I took some time out and just think about what I could do to cope with all these thoughts and so far music really helps, when you've got no one to talk to. I tried sleeping it off as well, but I doesn't really work well for me.

And after spending some time crying, I finally calmed down. But I felt no emotions, just total emptiness. 

I guess that's the cycle of depression for me. First you feel all emotions at once and then feel completely empty after that. 

Dealing with depression is not that easy. It's life draining. I don't want to feel like this anymore, it's really tiring.

Right now, I'm doing all I can to keep on going. I don't need therapy. This isn't the first time I've dealt with depression.

Writing in this blog helps me cope with most feelings.

I hope everything feels better. I hope I feel better. 

My First college orientation experience

Hello there!

I am back again with another update.
As you can tell from the title, yes, I went to my first ever college orientation.

All I can say is, it was awesome. The students who helped out during the orientation days were really friendly and I met several new friends too.

We sort of had some workshops which I think is quite fun because I get to talk with some new people, which I don't normally do. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone.

I only get to interact with more people during the second day of orientation cause we were put into groups and did some activities. It was fun, that's all I can say.

I just can't wait for my class to start next week. I'm finally able to go to a college after my horrible experience in my previous ones. I'm going to make so much memories and enjoy college life.

So that's it for my short update. There'll be plenty more to come and I will try my best to include pictures this time. Hehe :>



I'll update soon.

xx

Late night talks

Oh hey,
I'm back again for another casual update.

So a few things has been going on lately and I'm going recap of what has been going on recently.

Firstly, I am finally going to college. A proper one that is. The orientation date is set to be on the 13th and the 14th of April. Yeap, the orientation is two days and I'm excited, but slightly nervous. There is going to be a lot new people and I'm not good around new peoples cause I get this anxiety attack. But I'm going to step out of my comfort zone and deal with it. besides, they're just people, they shouldn't intimidate me. I hope so.. hehe.

My class officially starts on the 20th, so I'm going to be real busy for the rest of the year.

The next thing is something that I've been wanting share with you guys. It happened pretty recently.
So about last month, Viven asked me if I wanted to try this coaching session where she is the coach and I'm the client. It was for one of her assignments for her Uni so I agreed to it because I wanted to try it out and besides, I could help her with her work.

The coaching session consists of 4-5 sessions. It's mainly about discovering your goals in life. At first I couldn't really think of any cause I wasn't so proud and confident with myself. But throughout the sessions. I sort of like, re-discovered myself, What I am worth. I felt this positive vibe. I don't hate myself that much anymore. All those positive speech she told me just somehow brought me out of the negative thoughts. It just puts me in place. I'm not saying that I no longer think of negative things. I still do but I try to think positive all the time.

So after the last session which was about a week ago (No pls don't sing that song, if you know what I'm referring to), I've been pushing myself to do more productive things like workout more and practice my guitar and stopped being so lazy.

Overall, I can say that the coaching session worked pretty well. At the end of the day, she and I both got benefits for it. And I'm glad I agreed to it in the first place.


So that's it. That's all I got to say in the somehow long post.

I hope you all have awonderful day and I'll update next time.

xx

Just some little thoughts.

I know that I don't spend a lot of time updating my blog. I only update once in a blue moon

But right now, I have this thought that has been bugging me for the past hours.

Loneliness and friends.

Everyone has felt this emotion at some point of their lives. Even the ones who are surrounded my friends.
To me, loneliness isn't just about being depressed or down when you're alone. You can also feel lonely when you have friends or family around you. It's that feeling of isolation, you know? Like how your friends, they make you feel isolated because you feel like they don't understand you, like nobody else can.

I personally have been through this, being alone, feeling so left out. It almost made me break-down and cry. That's how terrible it felt.

But over the years, I've gotten used to it. In fact, I spent nearly all the time being alone. And I liked it. I enjoyed being alone in my personal space. Sometimes I do get asked out by my friends just to catch up or just normal outing.

I keep telling myself that it's alright to be alone, It really is, It's okay if you got no friends. Just know that, yourself, that's all you need, You don't need a lot of friends to be happy. You just gotta keep a couple of close ones around. I personally have only got 2 close friends and the rest are just acquaintances. And I'm okay with that. Not everyone you're friends are your true friends.

If you got a group of friends that made plans without you, you sort of already know where you stand. So don't waste so much time trying to fit in with them anymore, Focus on yourself. You can do so much more without them.

So just enjoy yourself, don't make it a big deal when your friends had fun without you. Friends, they come and go. Just remember, if you got a couple of close friends around, cherish them.


That's all I have to say for now
This is just a late night thought I had, so why not make it into a blog post.


I'll update soon

xx

sick days, go away

I just recovered from a cold a few weeks ago. Now the cold made a comeback and I'm sick again. I feel miserable right now. I didn't have appetite to eat, I constantly feel like sleeping, even though I just woke up from that extra 3 hours of nap I took. My head feels light and my right side of my nose is blocked.

The weather must have messed me up big time cause I feel like shit right now. And yes, I'm whining like a baby because I feel weak like I just want to sleep all day :s

Last night, I slept around 12:40 am and woke up around 8:10 am this morning. Did some stuff, turned on my laptop for a while and around 9 am, I went back to sleep and then woke up at 12:30 pm. It was already lunch hour but I didn't have to appetite so I just made myself some hot chocolate and 2 slices of peanut butter toast.

Right now I still feel like crap and I'm a little bit irritated cause my laptop's being whack as fuck. I don't know why it's being super lagging these days. I feel like I got so much shit to complain about but I'm not gonna do it. I don't want to make my day even more miserable than it already is.

And.. I have a coaching session later on with Viven so I wanna prepare myself. So I'm gonna go lie down for a while and then get ready for later.

This is a super short post of me complaining about everything..
I know..I'm sorry I just had to let it all out to ease my frustrations..
Thank goodness I have this blog


I'll update soon

xx

Mini March Haul 2015

Hello everyone!

I am back again with another blog post ^_^
So Chinese New Year has recently ended and I hope that everyone who celebrated, had a wonderful time with family and friends. I had such an amazing CNY this year.


Okay, I'm gonna jump straight to the haul now. I haven't posted any hauls since forever.

I went to Watsons yesterday and spent quite a long time there cause they were having a sale.

Firstly, I picked up this Maybelline Color Sensational Lipstick in the shade 645 Red Revival. It was only RM 17.94 cause they were having this special weekend sale. 

I also picked up this L'oreal Paris Color Riche Lipstick in the shade Pearly Viva Red. This shade is lighter than the Maybelline one. At first I thought they were the same. This was also on sale for RM 17.95

Next, I picked up this Collection Lasting Perfection Concealer in the shade Cool Medium 2. I heard a lot of good reviews on this concealer, that's why I picked this one and I also ran out of concealer. ^_^

My last make-up bit I bought was the Collection Does It All Waterproof Mascara. I also heard a lot of good reviews on this mascara. I can't wait to try this~

I got this Argan Oil Body Scrub by Watsons cause I wanted to try it.

Another skin product I got is this giant St. Ives Body Lotion. I've used this already and I smells amazing. You guys should try it,

And lastly, I got this Loreal Paris hair dye in the shade P66 Intense Spicy Red. I can't wait to see the results of this hair dye :D

And yeah, that sums up my entire purchase from Watsons. I can't wait to try out all the new make-up bits and also skin products. 

I hope you guys enjoyed reading this blog post even though it's just me showing off all the things I bought. hehe

I will try to update as often as I can from now on and I hope to improve my blogging skills along the way!

I hope you guys have an awesome day or night depending on which place you're from. Stay beautiful, stay gorgeous, stay healthy and stay healthy! I love you all!

xx

Messy mind.

Hello everyone,

I am back again with another blog-post. I've been procrastinating on updating this blog since forever. I don't know, it's like I want to update but I have no idea what to blog about. It's like a writers' block. I just can't come up with a topic.

But now I have something to talk about. Mainly, Chinese new year and a little bit of a life update.

So first things first, Chinese New year is right around the corner and I'm so excited yet not so excited at the same time. Reasons to be excited is because I get to visit my dad's hometown again and that is Johor! I get to see most of my relatives there. And also, I get to eat a lot. But it's a bummer that only my dad is able to visit KL this year because, my lil bro needs to study as in he doesn't get much days off cause he's in Brunei and my mom will be there too cause he needs to take care of things at home. That's the reason  why I'm not that excited for CNY this year. But that's okay I guess, I still can visit them sometime this year.

Speaking of CNY, I bought way too much clothes for this year and I have styled a couple of OOTDs and I can't wait to show you all my outfits. I just need to buy one more denim shorts and I'm good to go.

Now moving on,

(This is the part where I just spill my heart out and what I've been thinking about. So if you're not interested in reading about this, you can press exit. I won't mind and it's not like I'm gonna find out anyway XD )

Recently, I have been stressing a lot. Mainly about life.

Have you ever gotten to a point where you just don't know what you're doing with your life and what you want in life anymore? Like you feel lost and don't know what to do about it?

I'm basically at that point right now. I just kept stressing about what I want to pursue in life.

Each day I ask myself: "Do I really wanna go to college?" "what am I gonna do there?"

I do still wanna study Communications and maybe one day I wanna become a broadcaster or someone who can appear on the media. But most days I'm having second thoughts. 

And I know this is where I just need to stop doing everything and just chill out. I need to meditate. Cause all this "stressing about life" is bringing me down. And I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to stop stressing ~ I want my good vibes back!

So yes, I am done letting out most of my negative thinking. Thanks to this blog. I feel like maybe I should update more so that I don't bottle up my feelings and emotions inside my head.

I do hope you all have a wonderful day and stay happy! 

-I'll update soon-

xx

Hello everyone!
Something bad happened today and I guess I'll just jump right in to the details of what happened. Lol

So this morning I followed my brother to the car repair shop to get his car fixed. So I was driving/ following my brother's car at the back, telling myself that "I got this".. "It's just a near place", I was so chill until this happened. I managed to hit a lorry from the side while driving and break the entire left side-mirror. The rest of the car is fine.. and the lorry was fine (of course.. it's a lorry) and no one was hurt, just the side mirror was completely gone. I was so stunned at first and I didn't know what to do. I had that "oh shit..""fuck my life" moment, but I had to keep driving cause there were cars behind me. And I felt so shitty afterwards. And it's not just the accident that I have to think about constantly, now my brother  has to spend hundreds of dollars to fix the side mirror cause he know that I don't have the money to fix it myself. And it's all my fault. If I haven't been such a shitty driver, I would have save so much money and time for my brother. I felt so bad after that accident happened.

Later that morning, he told me to keep practicing and I'll eventually improve in my driving skills. That's what I'm gonna do from now on. I need to practice more even though I'd feel anxious and nervous and scared. I need to get through this so that I can go to places I want without using public transport anymore.

Right now, I still get that traumatic feeling from the accident, even though I'm just sitting here typing this blog post. Lol.. what happened this morning was a traumatic experience for me cause that was the first accident that happened to me while driving and I swear I never want to experience that again -touch wood-


So, enough about me for today. How's your day?


I'll update soon!

xx

Things I've Learnt in 2K14

Hello everyone!
I am back again with another update. This time, I'm gonna write (type) down all the things I've learnt this year. There are some good things and there are also some bad things which I will always remember as a life experience.


1) Never rely too much on others.

I know that a lot of people have known this from the start. I just thought that I knew better, but clearly, I don't. All this time I depended on people, nearly all of them has let me down. So at the end of the day, I'm the one who gets disappointed cause I expected too much from others. So I've learned my lesson.


2) Never try to take so much responsibility. You don't really have to do everything people ask you to.

I've seen a lot of people struggle with this sort of issue throughout the year. And I want to ask, why make your life more complicated than it already is? Why must people including me, have to say yes to everything others ask us to do? And why is it so hard for us to say no?

The truth is, you don't have to say yes to every favor people ask. Really, you don't. It's okay to say no. Real friends won't get butt-hurt about it. If you've got plenty of other things to do, why would you wanna say yes to another burden?

I guess we all do this just to make other happy eh? But I'm so fed up with it alright.


3) Not everyone who are nice to you, are your friends.

I know that we all deal with fake people on a daily basis. And I used to be that person who thinks that everyone is my friend. I'm sick and tired of people using others to get what they want, people who are ungrateful and unappreciative all the time and people who thinks that they're better than you and made you feel like shit. Clearly we don't deserve to be treated like shit.


4) Life is too short, so don't waste it

To think that I wasted so much time this year, really makes me feel like shit.
Yes, I did went to apply for college, but I turned up shitty than what I expected it to be. But I've decided to move past it.

So the truth is, I spent most of 2014 just simply staying at home and do nothing productive basically. All I did was just watch TV series all day and bore myself to death. I did went out friends to chill tho.

But I can't live like this. It takes me no where seriously. When I see most of my friends going to university and get part time jobs, and I'm just sitting here rotting, I felt like crap. So I had to do something with my life. I need to get my shit together (even tho I say this most of the time.... sigh..)



So that's it. There are so much more things that I learned this year but that's all of the things I could really think about.
I really hope that I don't make the same mistakes again next year, although I'm bound to make at least one of them.

I hope you all enjoyed your New Years Eve celebration.

For me, I'm just gonna stay at home and watch some movies, read a book, play games, greet some friends and then call it a night. That sounds like a plan.


I'll update soon :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE

xx

Hey,

So today I went to take my driving exam (for the second time cause I failed the first time).
And it went really well... I was so nervous, I felt like shitting my pants and I felt nauseous the entire time. Thank God I didn't throw up...

I went to the registration office around 7:30am.... Yeah, I know it's early but the people who worked there told me I should be there before 7:30... And we didn't leave the office to head to the exam venue until it was almost 8am....Like what.. I had to wake up at 6am for nothing. And I only got 6 hours of sleep..Which made me sleepy the entire day.

So I waited for my turn to re-take the exam and at the same time I made some new friends. We were separated into different groups basically, Some came to re-take the Up-hill test, some only came for the 'driving on the actual road' test and some came as new exam candidates. We were placed under new candidates cause we failed both categories. So we just talked until it was my turn to do test. We basically did the actual road exam first cause there were too many. It was intense. I was so scared that I'd fail the test...but I passe anyway. Hooray!

And later on that day, I think it was around 1 to 2pm, we were called to do the up-hill exam. We basically had to drive the car up-hill and I no problem doing that. The first time when I took the exam, my car went back down the hill, so I failed. But this time, I passed.

I was so freaking happy after the exam was over cause those struggle had been paid off and the hours I've spent learning how to drive and enduring the driving instructor's yelling was worth it.

Right now, I don't have to worry about not having a driving license anymore cause I can finally drive!

So after the exam, I went home around 3pm and took a nap around 5pm and woke up around 7pm feeling so refreshed. And right now, I'm here typing this blog-post.

This basically sums up my entire day. I should celebrate, like go shopping and treat myself to a fancy meal or something... yeah.. I probably should do that.

Oh and and and..... It's finally December! which means Christmas and Comic Fiesta is right around the corner. I am so excited~

Anyways I don't want to blabber too much about December so I'll end the post right here.


Bye!

xx

50 Questions. About me

I saw this on tumblr so I decided to do the tag here on my blog because why not? So here it goes...

1.What are you wearing?
-> My lounge wear which is T-shirt and shorts cause I'm at home right now.

2: Ever been in love? 

-> Yes.

3: Ever had a terrible breakup? 

-> Yes.

4: How tall are you?

-> 159-160cm

5: How much do you weigh?

-> 45kg

6: Any tattoos? 

-> Nope, but i want one so bad :<

7: Any piercings?

Yep. 3 on both sides of my ear.

8: OTPs?

-> Basically.. Caroline and Enzo (The Vampire Diaries).  

9: Favorite shows?

-> American Horror Story, The Vampire Diaries, Orange is the New Black, Grimm, Supernatural, The Walking Dead, The Flash, Game of Thrones, Awkward

10: Favorite bands?

-> The 1975, Bring Me the Horizon, The Maine, You Me at Six, Paramore, A Day to Remember, Linkin Park.

11: Something you miss?

-> My phone...It broke....

12: Favorite Song?

-> Chocolate by The 1975

13: How old are you?

 -> 19

14: Zodiac sign?

-> Leo

15: Qualities you look for in a partner? 

-> Sense of humor, kindness, someone who'd open the door/hold the door for me, someone who's patient with me when I have one of those 'crappy' moments, guys who'd accept me for who I am despite me being a shitty person, guys who can cook

16: Favorite quote?

-> 'I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not' - Kurt Cobain

17: Favorite actor? 

-> For now, it's Dave Franco :D

18: Favorite color? 

-> Black, red, lavender, pastel colors

19: Loud music or soft? 

-> Anything will do, as long as I like them 

20: Where do you go when you’re sad? 

-> To my room, so I can cry.

21: How long does it take for you to shower?

-> 15 minutes for days where I don't want to wash my hair and 30 - 45 minutes for days I just want to relax in the shower.

22: How long does it take for you to get ready in the morning?

-> It depends.If i'm in a rush, I'll probably take 10-15 minutes to get ready. But when I have all the time in the world, I'll take up to 2 hours to get ready..lol 

23: Ever been in a physical fight?

-> Nope.

24: Turn ons? 

-> Tattoos, sense of humor

25: Turn offs? 

-> guys who talks like a pervert all all the time, 

26: The reason I joined Tumblr? 

-> Because I was curious of what Tumblr was like....

27: Your biggest fear? 

-> Falling down from a tall building without anything attached to my body.

28: Last thing that made you cry? 

-> I failed my driving exam :/

29: Last time you said you loved someone? 

-> 4 years ago..lol

30: Meaning behind your Tumblr name? 

-> Back when I first made a tumblr account, I really liked zombies..so that's where it started off 

31: Last book you read?

-> The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

32: The book you’re currently reading?

-> The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

33: Last show you watched? 

-> Z Nation

34: Last person you talked to?

-> My nephew

35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted?

-> Friends

36: Favorite snack?

-> Flammin' Hot Cheetos 

37: Places you want to visit?

-> Thailand, Japan, Korea, China, US, UK, France..Basically all over the world.

38: Last place you were?

-> Times Square

39: Do you have a crush?

-> Yes.

40: Last time you kissed someone?

-> 4 months ago.

41: Last time you were insulted? 

-> I don't remember

42: Favorite flavor of candy? 

->  Hmmm..... mango, peach, apple

43: What instruments do you play?

-> Acoustic guitar.

44: Favorite piece of jewelry?

-> Necklaces

45: Last sport you played?

-> I don't play sports

46: Last song you sang?

-> She Looks so Perfect by 5 seconds of Summer......yep......

47: Favorite chat up line?

-> Hey..

48: Have you ever used it?

-> Used what?

49: Last time you hung out with someone?

-> Yesterday.

50: Who should answers these questions next?

-> Anyone and everyone.